Remember that one time I went on vacation to celebrate my brother and I's graduation and you made me feel like shit every day, because I "chose my family over you"? Remember how you'd get upset if I didn't text you? Remember how I accidentally fell asleep while texting you and you got upset, because "sleep was more important"? Remember how I'd leave for school at 5 in the morning when school didn't start until 7:30, because I wanted to see you? Remember how if I wasn't early to meet you, you'd twist it and make it seem like I didn't want to see you that badly? Remember how you got mad that I stopped on my way home to get a drink? Remember how explosive your temper was, but I still kept hugging you and stayed near you, because I didn't want you to leave me, even though I knew you'd hit me? Remember how you made me choose between you or my parents and how I just stopped talking to them? Remember how insecure I was, because I had no one except for you? Remember how you used to get mad when I went out of town with my family to visit my brother? Remember how you'd say exactly what would hurt me so that I was bawling around my family? Remember how you made me cry on Christmas morning, because I wanted to open presents with my family around when you wanted me to just blow them off because they were the "enemy"? Remember how my dad grabbed me when I didn't want to take off your jacket? Remember that one time I was sitting in the senior courtyard when I was already done with classes and I saw you walk by, so I waved at you when you were looking at me and you didn't do anything, because you were with your friends? Remember when you threw me down in the rock lot and we got sent to Stejskal's and Dean Burrough's office and I had to lie just so you wouldn't get in trouble? Remember how you told me to "fuck off" when I told you the truth about something that I didn't even have to tell you about? Remember when just getting FB comments from any guy used to send you over the edge, even if it was just Austin? Remember all those times you hurt me and didn't stop hurting me until I was crying? Remember how you'd always apologize and say you wouldn't ever do that again? Remember how you always would? Remember how I had to sit by myself at church and at lunch, while you got to sit with whoever you wanted? Remember how if you didn't get to see me in between classes, you'd get upset? Remember when I showed you a poem I wrote in a book character's perspective and you crumpled it up and got upset, because you thought it was about you? Remember how you didn't even let me explain that poem, because you just stormed away? Remember how you made me apologize for things you did, because you'd convince me that it was my fault that you lashed out at me? Remember how I did whatever you said, because you made me feel good about myself? Remember how you'd get upset if I spent time in the living room with my roommates my sophomore year of college instead of texting you? Remember how you told me it was okay to make friends, but I never did, because I felt like I had to walk on eggshells with you? Remember how I stopped watching anime with my dad even though that was something I enjoyed doing? Remember how you told me that it was weird that I spent so much time with my parents and that I should want to spend as little time with them as possible? Remember how we fought at my prom and that I cried at yours? Remember how you told me that you'd hurt yourself if I ever broke up with you and that you wouldn't know what to do with yourself?
Remember how you did all of that and had the audacity to tell me that you love me?
I do.
And that's not even mentioning the worst you've done, which I hope you never forget and I hope you NEVER repeat it.
