Someone like You

So today, I woke up at 7:55.. not because I wanted to, but because my dream made it so I physically could not sleep any longer.

For whatever reason, I was in Cape Coral, driving around & minding my own business, when I saw you in a car that probably doesn't even exist because it had the space of a mini van, but it was the size of a normal car, and you were talking to a girl. Then you told the driver to reverse, even though we were in the middle of an intersection. You got out of the car and started yelling at me and asking what I was doing there and how I could do that to the girl you were talking to. Obviously, I was fucking confused, because true I stared, but I didn't do anything remotely insulting or attention-grabbing.

So I drove around and parked somewhere and you had followed me by foot there to continue yelling at me, because for some reason that made sense. When I got out of the car, you legit sprinted after me, chasing me through people's backyards and swimming pools. You yelled at me saying that you finally forgot about me and that you weren't talking about me constantly anymore. It led to an awkward conversation where I asked if the girl in the car was a potential and if that was why you were mad. You said that you didn't know, but that she could be, so I congratulated you and told you that I was happy for you. I apologized for driving around in the Cape and you apologized for flipping a disk, then we just talked and time flew by and then we separated how we always do.

Then I woke up. It just felt like something that could have happened, minus the running through other people's property. It doesn't help that some of the conversations have actually occurred, like with the "potentials". I can't even think of the word in that sort of context without thinking of you.

There's this thing that says if you dream about someone, that means that they miss you or that they're thinking of you. If that's the case, why can't you be the one to cave and ask to hang out with me? Why does it feel like I'm the only one dwelling on the past and you're doing your own thing?

It's aggravating. I make so much progress forward, or at least that's the impression I get, but then something as silly as a dream can push me back. It's just disheartening. I wish I knew how to look at everything that we were without feeling the emotions behind it, like reading a story about someone that I've never met before. I'll never know how they felt during that situation, but I know the facts. I want to be able to detach myself from the pain that I felt over all that time, but I want to hold onto the experience so I know better next time.

That's a lot to ask for, but it's been 8 months. This shit is getting ridiculous. I shouldn't even be feeling like this because I was the one to end the relationship - it's supposed to be so much easier for me to move on, but for some reason, it's not and I don't know why.