It's really scary how you can wake up and go about your day and then get hit with the memory of what you dreamed about that night, especially when you didn't remember when you woke up. In fact, you don't even remember waking up. It was like all of a sudden your eyes just shot open and you couldn't figure out why or how that happened.

But remembering that ONE piece of the dream, remembering how you looked as you said it (an expression of such pain and agony to match how you felt inside), remembering exactly how hurt you felt to say it (as if someone was actually clutching your heart in your chest), remembering how you felt like cowering down in order to protect your heart, remembering how you screamed it (as if your life depended on it), remembering how it felt like your throat was dry and closed off and you couldn't breathe but you said it anyway because you couldn't live with it bottled inside anymore.

Not remembering why you said it, or in what context, or to who, though you could guess, given the scenario that even triggered the memory.

Knowing it couldn't be because of anything you've read lately, because you physically can't read something like that.

Not being able to talk about it because, why would you? Why should you?

Wondering if the dry closed feeling you had in that moment is some sort of symbolism for the fact you can't talk about it in real life. Wondering if maybe, just maybe, there's some merit to what you said. Wondering what that means for the future. Wondering if it means anything. Wondering if it will always mean something.

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I'm trying really hard not to remember it, so hopefully this helps.